It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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