and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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