Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize