the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
