He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
