I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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