he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
