literally had 100 drinks last night.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
