If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
