i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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