i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drake has all the answers
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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