Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
