i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
