thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
