I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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