I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
