dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
