we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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