only if we run a train.
done.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
