Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
