it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize