Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
