I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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