Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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