Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
