I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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