i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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