So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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