The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
