I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
