I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
