oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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