so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins