Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

(775): View more from Nevada

Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

(702): View more from Nevada

God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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(702): It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway. (775): Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ???? (702): God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight. http://tfl.nu/me93

Replies (14) Good night (673) Bad night (2359)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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(508): billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down. http://tfl.nu/h3l0

Replies (11) Good night (1127) Bad night (3582)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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(401): Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out. http://tfl.nu/h447

Replies (10) Good night (4788) Bad night (620)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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(508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02

Replies (22) Good night (5186) Bad night (759)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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(724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv

Replies (18) Good night (5183) Bad night (1307)
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(845): View more from New York

just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in

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(845): just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in http://tfl.nu/l275

Replies (5) Good night (4124) Bad night (1450)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.

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(+61): You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd. http://tfl.nu/nwi3

Replies (16) Good night (4887) Bad night (921)
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(708): View more from Illinois

They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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(708): They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters http://tfl.nu/nwd9

Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (672)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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(314): I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning http://tfl.nu/jesw

Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (1046)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina

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(902): Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina http://tfl.nu/gzz0

Replies (4) Good night (1187) Bad night (440)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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(678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx

Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (566)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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(931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh

Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (362)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name

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(306): i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name http://tfl.nu/61nk

Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (237)
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(408): View more from California

I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.

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(408): I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced. http://tfl.nu/i2rx

Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (245)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment

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(703): I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/m0k3

Replies (0) Good night (193) Bad night (528)

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