508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.