i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.