Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
