I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?