Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we'll go far in life on tits alone.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(828): View more from North Carolina

my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006

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(847): View more from Illinois

He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.

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