Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off. http://tfl.nu/irzu
  Replies (22) Good night (2971) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1773) Bad night (7361)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt
  Replies (19) Good night (4035) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq
  Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (5053)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood http://tfl.nu/vfy0
  Replies (12) Good night (9265) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds... http://tfl.nu/27nn
  Replies (6) Good night (2094) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify. http://tfl.nu/zod7
  Replies (6) Good night (4281) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL. http://tfl.nu/wgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (3728) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sounds about right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3
  Replies (0) Good night (1336) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong http://tfl.nu/qp7g
  Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan. http://tfl.nu/qlyy
  Replies (3) Good night (1044) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them (1-616): its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you http://tfl.nu/jk07
  Replies (2) Good night (1100) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/mvzv
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA http://tfl.nu/iwiz
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry. http://tfl.nu/ia83
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (311)

Randomize