I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
