Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
