After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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