My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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