Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
