we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize