I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
