Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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