Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
