I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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