Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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