Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
