I like my sex mixed with concussions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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