Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
