how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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