dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
