AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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