he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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