I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
