I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why didn't you poke me back
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You have to summon your inner elephant
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
