he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
