What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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