im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
