kristin has been a bad kristin
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I need moral support for this bender
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
