Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
