I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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